A Christmas Eve adventure
a story of unexpected ass kickings and other chance encounters
After a spontaneous night out, I wake up on December 24th - the big Christmas day in Germany - from a good night’s rest. For the holidays this year, I’ve decided to stay at my home in Berlin.
Most of my friends decide to travel back home for the holidays this year, and so does my flatmate. I bring her down to the Bolt that is picking her up for the airport after we say good bye.
After a late breakfast, I start diving into the same activites that filled my previous days. Reading What Technology Wants by Kevin Kelley, playing setar, reflecting on my notes from this year, taking new notes, and occasionally browsing Hacker News and Twitter.
If Berlin feels unreal and bizarre at normal times, it feels outright eerie during Christmas holidays. The streets are emptier than usual, most places are closed, and as darkness and cold are challenging the spirits all around, an unusual silence spreads across the city.
One article on the Hacker News front page catches my attention, and I read it completely - An Unexpected Ass Kicking. It’s about a chance encounter in a coffee shop, between the author and Russell Kirsch. He is the person who scanned the first digital photograph.
Russel Kirsch sounds like a fun and smart person, and the author is surprised by running into this accomplished person in a random coffee shop. One of his quotes especially stick with the author - and with me:
Do things that have never been done.
In the afternoon I start to get a little bored inside. I decide to get groceries to get out of the house and get some fresh air, and to stock up for the coming holidays. My destination is a close-by supermarket notorious for being open every day of the year, even on holidays and even on Christmas.
Bummer, I think, as I reach the supermarket standing in front of closed doors. Even though it was open today, it already closed at 1pm - I painfully notice it is already 3pm. I decide to turn this day into a little Chrismas adventure and simply follow my impulses.
After treating myself to a delicious donut (Boston Cream) and a refreshing smoothie (Açaí) - I rent an e-scooter on a whim and drive it up and down on familiar streets. I finally end up in the center of the city - Alexanderplatz - and park the scooter right on the main street, in front of a well-frequented café.
It’s one of the many branches of Einstein Kaffee. Turns out I’m not the only one who decided to have a pitstop here today - the café is almost bursting with people. Even though it’s about 5°C, some people are even sitting outside in the cold while sipping their coffee.
I enter the café, glad for an opportunity to warm up after my ride in the cold. After about 10 minutes of waiting in the queue, I order a piece of delicious rasperry cake and my usual Espresso Macchiato. After some more time of awkwardly standing around, two seats at a four-seat table open up.
I ask the couple sitting at the table if the seats are available - they are - and so I finally can sit and enjoy my cake piece in peace. I pull out my Kindle and continue reading where I left off.
After a couple minutes, I ease into my relative uncomfort of sitting next to a couple who give off a very romantic and intimate vibe, and focus on the book at hand. They don’t seem bothered by me at all, and Kevin Kelley shares very interesting and inspiring thoughts, so I get easily hooked.
As I am reading, I take occasional breaks to glance at my surroundings and take some notes. I notice an elderly man who approaches another four-seat table to ask if the last empty seat is available - it is not - and he… sits down?! A little back and forth ensues that I’m observing in awe.
The group of three man gesture wildly to the elderly man, and kindly but firmly state that the seat is not available. Clearly, he misunderstood. It takes another two or three reaffirmations until he finally understands and gets up again.
He approaches our table and gestures at the seat giving me a questioning look. I take off my AirPods and smile, gesture towards the seat and and say, it’s free, please have a seat!
What’s normally a routine interaction of café etiquette does feel a bit weird today, in this room filled with about 50 strangers at a time where most people in Germany are currently sitting at home with their loved ones.
I plug my AirPods back into my ears, give a smiling nod to the gentleman and continue reading. After a couple of moments, the man gestures again. He asks:
-Do they have table service here?
-Well, I shrug, I have queued at the counter for 10 minutes to order, but the service staff is walking around every now and then, so there is a chance!
He nods and decides to take his chances. I take a few minutes to observe my surrounding without reading or listening to music. More people are waiting for proper seating, awkwardly standing around or sitting in the corner.
Finally, the man is waving for a waitress to order, and he is lucky. Indeed she is serving tables, a rare sight in Berlin! He orders a Cappucchino as the place is bustling with activity.
One of the waitresses greets a friend who chooses to sit at a nearby table as soon as it frees up. A group of six friends are waiting and waiting for a big enough table to free up. Eventually they manage to find one and sit down with sighs of relief.
As the Cappucchino is served, the man gives back both types of sugar (brown and white), and asks for sweetener instead. He offers his extra milk from a little cup to the couple next to us who decline kindly. My cup is already gone, so he doesn’t offer me any.
After a few moments, the waitress brings the sweetener and the receipt. He only has a large bill to pay for his Cappucchino and so she leaves him the receipt and collects change from the register. While he is taking a few sips, I look at the receipt - 4.40€ for a Cappucchino. He says:
-Everything is so expensive - that’s unbelievable, isn’t it?
-Yes, I reply, this really is an expensive café. That’s why I like to come here for a special treat.
-Yes the inflation made everything worse. And heating has become so expensive as well! So, where are you from?
-I am from Karlsruhe, South Germany. It’s to the French border.
-Oh, Karlsruhe. Is it also expensive there?
-Yes, South Germany is generally more expensive than here in Berlin. The life style is different, and people have other priorities there.
At this point I catch my breath. Rising prices, heating, inflation, the economy, my hometown... These are not the topics I signed up for to discuss on Christmas Eve! Hastily, I add:
-I will go back to reading my book now. Please enjoy your Cappucchino!
A bit taken a back, he nods and takes another sip as I plug my AirPods back into my ears. I immerse myself into my reading again, taking my occasional breaks for glances and notes.
After about two hours, the darkness has settled in. Another glance up from my book - the man is already gone, and so is the couple. They left a while ago, without saying another word to me.
Another man approaches me, and asks something. I don’t hear what he says, as I am still listening to music, but I assume he asks if the seats are available.
-Yes they are, I reply.
He looks visibly disappointed and turns around. I take off my AirPods and say
-Excuse me sir, the seats are available. I misunderstood your question.
-No problem, he replies.
He sits down and after a few moments he’s already fully immersed in his phone. I look around - the café has cleared up. More and more people decide to head home as it is nearly 7pm. After some more time, I stand up to go as well. I tell the man goodbye as I head out of the now almost empty café. He doesn’t hear me and doesn’t look up.
On the subway ride back home, I keep thinking about my encounter with the elderly man and the article about Russell Kirsch.
I keep wondering if the man would have served me an unexpected ass kicking. As I’m listening to a new song I picked up the previous night, I realize that I never asked him a question in return.
Maybe he would have kicked my ass, if I had given him the chance to do so... Do things that have never been done.