Recently, I found myself in a mode of constantly fixing problem after problem in my life. This period lasted for 1-2 months and felt really great!
However during my 2022 reflections I realized that I hadn’t actually grown much in the process of fixing all of these problems. I fell into the trap of shallow problem fixing.
In Minor Musings I write about a wide range of topics, personal growth being one of them. Subscribe to get updates for future posts.
Growing means to expand. Just like the universe is ever expanding, expansion is part of human nature as well.
Maybe this is why personal growth is so fulfilling. It can show up in a bigger capacity for love, a better proficiency in a certain skill or exploring a new aspect in one’s life.
Fixing problems on the other hand basically means to find oneself in a duel with the universe and emerge victoriously. This above all is satisfying and it can lead to growth - but it doesn’t have to. Fixing problems does not equate personal growth.
What’s a problem anyway? Usually a challenging situation we face that we perceive as unpleasant or not wanted - any situation we are part of, any aspect of our life, or topic we want to change that triggers strong & unresolved emotions in us.
The tension we experience when connecting with a problem comes from a discrepancy between a potential we sense in our inner world, and the outer world as we experience it. Problems can give us direction and an idea where to move next in our personal journey.
Sustained growth
So, actively and deeply engaging with a problem is indeed a great opportunity for personal growth. In a mode of sustainable growth, we successfully integrate the experience of going through a challenge: this starts with consciously facing the challenge head on, contributing to a resolution, and taking the time to reflect on the learnings from our experience.
This lets us expand into the next bigger version of ourselves.
A sign of true growth is a shift in how we experience ourselves and the world. We can look at experiences we have now and compare them to some time ago - a month, a year, a decade. Growth can also show up as experiences we don’t have anymore, or situations we we are able to handle completely differently than before.
Shallow problem fixing and self-sabotage
In the pursuit of self-actualization and personal growth, it can thus be very tempting to tunnel-vision on problems around us. Not too soon and you find yourself seeing problems around every corner.
This is the trap of shallow problem fixing.
You’re fixing problems, how exciting! Many, and in quick succession. You are satisfied. Personal growth, here we go!
But… after a while you realize: there is no sustained change. When you’re fixing problems superficially and do not integrate your experiences into your self, true growth can’t take part. It’s all an illusion. Problems you thought you solved months ago come back unexpectedly. You are in a constant rush to find and fight the next problem.
Throwing ourselves into new problems compulsively can even be a form of self-sabotage: actively seeking out drama and noise for quick, little boosts of satisfaction; immediately jumping on to a new problem without taking time to truly grow.
This can result in a yo-yo effect on our expansion, in contrast to when we go through sustainable growth.
A more advanced version of this self-sabotage is to seek out environments and people that reliably create problems or lead to unhealthy conflict. This is a slick move, as then one is never the one to blame for creating such trouble.
Falling into the trap of shallow problem fixing can be very intruiging. And ironically, this quest of fixing problems for the sake of it actively hinders our growth.
A healthy approach to growth
What is then needed to experience true and sustained growth?
Reflecting, taking action, celebrating wins, showing compassion to oneself, talking to friends, seeking advice and mentorship - those are all practical elements that can bolster our growth.
I think that the biggest component of true growth lies in our inner attitude. The commitment and willingness to grow is a deciding factor, so are compassion and persistence.
Something that I have experienced again and again in the recent years is that I’ve tended to disregard my inner state and focused on outside problems.
This is where I recently experienced a shift that I perceive as very healthy for my growth: the universe - my universe - is a reflection of my inner world. As such, facing a problem can only be a reflection of an inner conflict in me. True personal growth can then only mean to experience a true change in my inner experience, which then reflects into my outer experience.
Dueling the universe is actually dueling myself. The problem is just the setting - the arena that provides a specific context for the duel.